Bloody Leech's

JayyyyGee · Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 9:32 pm Post subject: Bloody Leech's

Had a quick stint in hospital

Nothing major just my annual P nuss reduction job was starting to walk lob sided once again

I smoke but not a smoker just habbit these days have to light each smoke 3 r 4 times cause they go out with new chemicals they put in cigarettes

Anyways ducked outside 2nd day for some fresh air & to stretch the legs dont like needles & refuse hepron shots.

As soon as i got outside & pulled out a pack had 3 leech's all converge on me trying to bludge a fag

Well didn't i tell them where to go

Sat down on a bench then the wankerrrrrrrrrrr comes riding by on a pushbike

Can i get a smoke off you mate were there the words he used

I'm not your mate & if you cant afford them then you shouldn't be smoking them was my reply

He rid off bantering some smartarse comment, 5 minutes later he came riding by with a smoke in his mouth wouldn't come near me got a light of someone else.

Didn't stop him from attempting to throw another smart comment.

All i could think of was bloody koorilad where was he

Kel i could've used a few lessons alot of fallen branch's on the lawn could've made a spear from one of them had someone been around to show me how

Ended up having to do a Paul Keating on the goose

Get a Job You MUG
_________________
**************************
Save The Fish, Eat a Pussy Cat

yar76e · Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 9:59 pm Post subject:

Sorry to hear about your operation, how long do you have to wear the headband for the scars. :lol: :lol:

At least with the yearly op, you can wear your old hats again
_________________
EGO amo ut piscis piscis usquam

BorisK · Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 10:23 pm Post subject:

Bloke, looks like you still have that charm about ya so you should be right for another year. You and Frank need a holiday I reckon.
_________________
I am an idiot and a liar.

ironmaiden · Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 10:51 pm Post subject:

I hope all is well mate.

4 years of owning a take away business that was 24hrs on Friday & Saturdays

'Can I get credit Bro? Can I get some on tick mate? Can I pay ya tomorrow? Can I have the food your goanna throw out? Can I have a smoke? Can I have a Light? Can you pick up a bottle of bourbon, slab of beer and a pkt of Winnies MAAATTTEEEE?

They would scream into the phone $4.00 dollars for Delivery get #$^&** (This is at 3am)

'90c for a dim sim you'r a rip off'

Can I have prawns, anchovies, bacon, ham, extra egg, Mild salami, chicken, kalmatta olives, pineapple & extra BBQ sauce on my Margareta mate? It’s free yeah?

Walk in/ Dine in customer…Here’s your Pizza buddy. Customer says Can you deliver me and the pizza home? Ohh come on mate I brought the Fu#*^% pizza didn’t I?

What would you like mate? Small Pizza thick crust. Can I have 4 flavours? WTF? That’s Extra?

Then everybody wants to talk to ‘DAMO’ Hey DAMO it’s me Bullwinkle can I get free delivery bud, remember we used to go to school together?
Hey DAMO just chuck in some free stuff mate
Hey DAMO any chance to loan a 20 mate?
THANK GOD I SOLD THE SHOP

ironmaiden · Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 10:59 pm Post subject:

I was stupid enough to make a TV AD
www.youtube.com/watch?v=HRZv5-A2104

JayyyyGee · Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 11:10 pm Post subject:

Worst is when you get kids in school uniform asking
Feel like giving them a slap on the back of the head

Tell you anutta good one

Twas years ago
Having lunch with a couple of female clients, this dude rocks up & he was legitly dumb couldn't speak.

Writes on a piece of paper could we spare $5 so he could get home had lost his wallet

One of the girls was pulling out her wallet to endulge him

I said what R U doing

Helping the guy out she said

What so he can go place another bet @ the TAB

Guy wasn't to happy with my remark BUT

Smartarse had written his request on a TAB form
_________________
**************************
Save The Fish, Eat a Pussy Cat

Koorilad · Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 11:52 pm Post subject:

JG, don't worry about making spears just yet, you havnt evolved that far. Just continue to use a club for now

Seriously though, I hope your ok.

Oh give those ciggies up mate.

JayyyyGee · Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 12:00 am Post subject:

Good thinking kel
Next time i'll take a 7 iron with me that should do the trick only need one hand to throw it
Who knows i might get a hole in one if the wally lifts him arse off the seat

_________________
**************************
Save The Fish, Eat a Pussy Cat

pale ale · Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 12:19 am Post subject:

operation............

got b4 and after shots??? Do you have a macro setting on ya camera

JayyyyGee · Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 12:24 am Post subject:

You just want the off cut to use as a new 24 kg stick dont you

_________________
**************************
Save The Fish, Eat a Pussy Cat