Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 4:00 pm Post subject: Re:
pale ale wrote:
The kids filed back into class Monday morning. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship.
Little Sally led off: "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success." "Very good," said the teacher.
Little Mary was next: "I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events.” "Very good, Mary" said the teacher.
Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn. The teacher held her breath. Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk. "$2,467," he said. "$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?"
"Toothbrushes," said Little Johnny.
"Toothbrushes!" echoed the teacher, "How could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?"
"I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny. "I set up a Dip & Chip stand and gave everybody who walked by a free sample." They all said the same thing, "Hey, this tastes like dog shit!" Then I would say, “It is dog shit. Wanna' buy a toothbrush?" "I used the Gillard approach of giving you something shitty for free, and then making you pay to get the taste out of your mouth."
Tony Abbott is the biggest hand on appendage politician i have ever seen make no mistake about that sunny jim. I reckon i could go just about anyone except him, that bitch bishop and that snotty little runt who calls points of order on the libferals side. Bring on turnbull or hockey.
Probably old but a pretty good outlook on life -SAID FATHER TO ‘WATERMELON’ ** DAUGHTER…
A young woman was about to finish her first year of university. Like so many others her age, she considered herself to be Labor Party minded. She was very much in favour of higher taxes to support her education and for more government programs - in other words, a ‘better’ redistribution of wealth. Much like a Carbon Tax?
She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch blue-ribbon Conservative, a feeling she often expressed openly. Based on the lectures that she had attended and the occasional personal chat with a professor, she felt ashamed that her father had, for years, harboured “a selfish desire to keep all of what he thought should be his to himself.”
One day she was again challenging her father on his opposition to higher taxes on the rich and the need for more government assistance programs. The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her professors must be the truth, and she indicated so to her father. He responded by asking how she was doing at university.
Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she had a 90% average, and let him know that it was tough to maintain, insisting that she was taking a very difficult course load and was constantly studying, which left her no time to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn't even have time for a boyfriend, and
didn't really have many university friends because she spent all her time studying.
Her father listened and then asked, "How is your friend Audrey doing?"
She replied, "Audrey is barely getting by. All she takes are easy classes, she never studies and she barely has a 50% average. She is so popular on campus; university for her is a blast. She's always invited to all the parties, and lots of times she doesn't even show up for classes because she's too hung over."
Her father asked his daughter, "Why don't you go to the Dean's office and ask him to deduct 20% off your average and give it to your friend who only has 50%. That way you will both have a 70% average, it would be fair and you would both be equal."
The daughter, visibly shocked by her father's suggestion, angrily fired back, "That's a crazy idea; how would that be fair! I've worked really hard for my grades! I've invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard work! Audrey has done next to nothing toward her degree. She played while I worked my tail off!"
The father slowly smiled, winked and said gently, "Welcome to the Conservative side of the fence darling."
If anyone has a better explanation of the difference between Conservative and Labor/Greens, I'm all ears. If you ever wondered what side of the fence you sit on, these are a few observations you might consider!
If a Conservative supporter doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one.
If a Labor/Green doesn't like guns, they want all guns outlawed.
If a Conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat.
If a Labor/Green is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.
If a Conservative is gay, he quietly leads his life.
If a Labor/Green is gay, he demands legislated respect.
If a Conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A Labor/Green wonders who is going to take care of him.
If a Conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Labor/Greens demand that those they don't like should be banned.
If a Conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church.
A Labor/Green non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced... unless it's a foreign religion, of course!
If a Conservative reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a good old laugh.
A Labor/Green voter will probably delete it immediately because she's "deeply offended."
Watermelon: Green on the outside, pink on the inside and gives you the pip… you know.. like Bob Brown. _________________
Bob Smith
TFP
To compromise always leads to further loss of amenity, never to be regained
Posted: Mon Apr 02, 2012 8:43 pm Post subject: Re:
BOB_SMITH wrote:
Probably old but a pretty good outlook on life -SAID FATHER TO ‘WATERMELON’ ** DAUGHTER…
A young woman was about to finish her first year of university. Like so many others her age, she considered herself to be Labor Party minded. She was very much in favour of higher taxes to support her education and for more government programs - in other words, a ‘better’ redistribution of wealth. Much like a Carbon Tax?
She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch blue-ribbon Conservative, a feeling she often expressed openly. Based on the lectures that she had attended and the occasional personal chat with a professor, she felt ashamed that her father had, for years, harboured “a selfish desire to keep all of what he thought should be his to himself.”
One day she was again challenging her father on his opposition to higher taxes on the rich and the need for more government assistance programs. The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her professors must be the truth, and she indicated so to her father. He responded by asking how she was doing at university.
Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she had a 90% average, and let him know that it was tough to maintain, insisting that she was taking a very difficult course load and was constantly studying, which left her no time to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn't even have time for a boyfriend, and
didn't really have many university friends because she spent all her time studying.
Her father listened and then asked, "How is your friend Audrey doing?"
She replied, "Audrey is barely getting by. All she takes are easy classes, she never studies and she barely has a 50% average. She is so popular on campus; university for her is a blast. She's always invited to all the parties, and lots of times she doesn't even show up for classes because she's too hung over."
Her father asked his daughter, "Why don't you go to the Dean's office and ask him to deduct 20% off your average and give it to your friend who only has 50%. That way you will both have a 70% average, it would be fair and you would both be equal."
The daughter, visibly shocked by her father's suggestion, angrily fired back, "That's a crazy idea; how would that be fair! I've worked really hard for my grades! I've invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard work! Audrey has done next to nothing toward her degree. She played while I worked my tail off!"
The father slowly smiled, winked and said gently, "Welcome to the Conservative side of the fence darling."
If anyone has a better explanation of the difference between Conservative and Labor/Greens, I'm all ears. If you ever wondered what side of the fence you sit on, these are a few observations you might consider!
If a Conservative supporter doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one.
If a Labor/Green doesn't like guns, they want all guns outlawed.
If a Conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat.
If a Labor/Green is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.
If a Conservative is gay, he quietly leads his life.
If a Labor/Green is gay, he demands legislated respect.
If a Conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A Labor/Green wonders who is going to take care of him.
If a Conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Labor/Greens demand that those they don't like should be banned.
If a Conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church.
A Labor/Green non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced... unless it's a foreign religion, of course!
If a Conservative reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a good old laugh.
A Labor/Green voter will probably delete it immediately because she's "deeply offended."
Watermelon: Green on the outside, pink on the inside and gives you the pip… you know.. like Bob Brown.
That entire post is flawed. Christ even the gun bit at the end is back to front. Little johnny wea
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To put it up you libferals 